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31 inches of vinyl for yr consideration

The Whitest Boy Alive

Golden Cage (3.5)
Played at 45 rpm this sounds like a great dance track and then the high vocals come in and spoil the fun. Back at 33 its a slower cool dancey vibe - think Belle & Sebastian meets Phoenix.
Golden Cage (Fred Falke remix - instrumental) (4)
Parisian sounding house with the underwater daft punk effect that I really love and a quick wash of 80s vocoder synths make for a happy instrumental mix. Nice one.
Golden Cage (Fred Falke remix) (4)
Well, its the best of both the above versions pretty much and so I would mark this as the one. Shades of Back in the high life again by Steve Winwood anyone? Might just be me but listen close people, it's there.

Late of the Pier

The Bears Are Coming (4.5)
First of all; YOU HAVE TO BUY THIS 12" FOR THE AWESOME GLASSES. No 3D affair here, we are talking some sort of cool light refraction that makes 9 of everything bright. And seeing as the cover looks like a Bridgit Riley colourfest its pretty fucking spectacular.
The music? Its fucked up in all the best ways - especially the squashed fly fightiong for life squelch of an 808 or 303 or whatever it is that they use. Brilliant, mental and fun.
The Bears Are Coming (Emporer Machine Remix) (3.5)
Isn't a great when remixes sound next to nothing like the original? Yes, yes it is. You can place all these little sounds and effects but you have to think how the fuck did they come up with this then? No idea but good work.
The Bears Are Coming (Beyond the Wizards Sleeve Remix) (2.5)
Start of this reminds me of opening bars of fun for all the family prison drama Oz. Then its carnival! Except its also boring me a bit and making me want to flip over to the original again. Not a winner but still gets a shiny medal for taking part.
The Bears Are Coming (Joakim Remix) (3)
With an acid line seemingly made up of high pitched squeaky farts how can this lose? OK, its a bit pedestrian, a couple more bpm would work - actually no then it weirdly sounded like an unfortunate Bowie remix. Hooray though for some 8bit cartridge winning noises that just popped up. Its another too clever to really work as a danceable mix except in the most horrendously knowing places. Still, s'ok.

Tapes 'N Tapes

Hang Them All (2)
Its a funky sound made by indie kids and sadly sits uncomfortably in the middle of both. I've never really got into this lot and this track isnae gonna change my mind.
Wired (3)
This, on the other hand, is much nicer. Slower, tired, a bit Yo La Tengo sounding a bit (ho ho) James too maybe. Better than the A side then.

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