Poniedziałek 3 Kwi 2006, 2:05
What a shitty, shit shit mcshit day I had. So lets start with the fact that I (stupidly) went to bed at 9:30 AM; I might have well as stayed up the rest of the day instead of trying to get some desperate sliver of sleep.
So at 12:00 noon I hear a pounding on my door, right. I'm like "QUFILVBJAIOHF*(G&PYIL:BEUADGZ" but they wouldn't stop knocking so I got up and stumbled to the door half asleep.
Turns out it was my frigging dad, and he was wayyy pissed because I've kinda dropped out of contact with everyone.
So he storms into my apartment and proceeds to tell me what an awful person I am for not talking with the rest of the family and staying in what he refers to as my "cave", unwilling to come out. He goes on and on and on about how I'm such a failure and will never live up to any of the expectations he has.
He struck a severe nerve, the tears started flowing. I don't even know why, I just started bawling and couldn't stop. It's so frustrating when you're taught by your parents to be the toughest girl of the lot, and then you turn around and start crying in front of your dad. I was sad and angry, and got a flare of temper, swearing at him and pushing him out of the apartment, slamming the door and locking him out. I know he stood there for like 10 minutes before he left, and I hope he fucking heard me crying in there.
I hate him. I hate my entire family and I'm so glad to be away from them. What I don't understand is why the hell the landlady let him in; its supposed to be controlled access wtf? I'm going to tell her tomorrow that I don't want to even see his goddamn profile standing outside my door ever again.
So yeah, now I'm über depressed, though a few people have mentioned to lift me up sorta earlier in the day.
I'm frustrated that I don't know where my life is going, and even more so that I can't seem to get control over it.
Discuss:
Songs to listen to when pissed off or depressed.
My personal favorites:
For anger it doesn't get any better than these few. I always am listening to them.
Born of a Broken Man is a great song to sit back and break shit too, I've found.
Giant is another heavy hitting song that always gets me going, probably due to its enormously phat bassline.
Speaking of phat basslines, Storm Center is a wonderful track to listen to when you're thinking about tearing someone's head off.
Blackwater Park, Master's Apprentices, Ghost of Perdition, The Grand Conjuration, Beneath the Mire… Hell. Anything heavy by Opeth.
Anything by Rammstein. Seriously, just about anything. Though my favorite songs to listen to when angry from them are Benzin or Feuer Frei, or Sonne.
Listening all the way through the epic song which isThe Odyssey always seems to calm me down. Something about Incantations of the Apprentice makes it good to listen to as well when angry.
coro makes me angrier when I listen to it, go figure. Awesome song if you've got a killer sound system. Goes well with Exposed.
I've found that these songs go well with depression, whether to temporarily quell it or jump deeper into it.
God Put A Smile Upon Your Face is one of my favorite Coldplay songs to listen to, ever. This and Amsterdam usually can cheer me right up, if I listen to them enough times over and over again.
I'll Be There is a great song to listen to to get back up on your feet. A close friend of mine gave this song to me when I was down and I listened to it for days without stopping. It helped.
The Legend of Ashitaka is something I like listening to. I actually favor alot of more classical music when I'm feeling down, and alot of the more mellow stuff by Jo Hisaishi, Yoko Kanno, Kawai Kenji, or even frigging Tchaikovsky.
Pegasus Bridge is unearthly and hauntingly beautiful.
Mellow things by Opeth, like Harvest or Isolation Years, or For Absent Friends.
Nothing Can Be Explained is another song with a hauntingly beautiful sound to it. So is Ein Lied.(notice a trend?)
Well my connected music box is freaking out, think I may have connected to too much music? Anyway, I may add some more later.
Add your own if you'd like.