Melbourne Uni is shit

Tori Amot began her midwifery career at the age of fifty thr

University of Melbourne? More like university of shit if you ask me!




I don't know about you lot, but I came out of high school an open, optimistically free thinking lad. Yet the University of Melbourne just seems intent on closing my mind.

Melbourne Uni. Prestigious. Well respected. Ranked 38th in the world for universities. Should be some hot stuff right?

It's frankly utter shite.

This is not going to be an empty page with no justification. I truly feel this, and i'm sure others at the uni feel it also. Feel free to comment, to post and to vent whatever and whereever you feel like. I want this page to be a centralised depotism of negativity.





Melbourne Uni is:

Restrictive. Dictated. Designed for boring numbskulls (crashing bores?) who have no desire to challenge themselves. Look at me! I'm not doing any study at all and i'm passing med! Whee! Future doctor! (no really, I would make an excellent doctor. Meet me and you'd see what I mean). But still. I at least am abusing the way it is. Others seem to be perfectly happy with how it all works and that simply sickens me. So damn easy to cave in.

Ridiculously impersonal. Loaded with beauracracy. Referral, referral, referral. Creatively restrictive. Open model my arse. They cram you into a predefined corner of their choosing, allowing for no individuality to be imbued at all. And if so, it's a false one. It's essentially a single giant degree factory of 50,000 people - one that dehumanises you along it's production chain.

A very expensive production chain.

And even more so for international students. It's a uni that practically funds itself by the ludicrously high payments of foreign students. It's simple base exploitation.

Actual creativity is shot down. Things become either "right" or "wrong". You just cannot be. Tick boxes are to be filled. Subjectivity, personality and self-worth in the arts seems to be lost. Things are taught terribly. Learning is no longer for learning's sake anymore. This surely shouldn't happen at a university, the place where minds are meant to be opened? There's just no love. It's all numbers. And that is the state of the world.

If this is the way of the future, then god save us all. But god is dead.


The most hilarious thing of all is that no one even knows what's going on around them. Lecturers, administrators, staff, tutors and the students themselves. Rather worrying, that. And no one really cares. It's absolutely terrifically hilarious. It's so obvious.

Blatant sloganeerism littered corpses.

For those with a creative slant in them, Melbourne Uni will kill you. Kill you ever so slowly, bit by sickening bit. Then turn you around on the spit after you're dead above a roasting fire with a jet black cookpot filled to the brim with turgid boiling oil. Melbourne University will then proceed to eat various parts of your body day by day for an entire month (or years depending on your course), throwing the left overs into the freezer overnight each time. Your bones will then be taken forthwith up into the anatomy department for people like me to look intently at your ischial tuberosities and greater trochanters.




Some good thing(s) however:

1. The internet is fast.




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That's about it.


It makes me wonder if other universities around the world are also this atrociously fucking shit. Constraining, limiting, restricting. Melbourne's highly ranked, right? I think it's criminal. To me, it's all name and no substance. This then begs the question to you all out there actually attending other universities - what's it like for you?

I simply don't want others falling into the same trap believing the hype (oh boy, the hype, the hype!) and then coming here, paying too much and finding it severely lacking. Especially if you're from overseas. Talk about high expectations ae. (what? me?)

But do come to Melbourne Uni if you want to become a bitter highly recitent skeptical self-absorbed repressed fucker like myself (who's really very lovely and wants to be your friend).

If you're going there already and enjoying it, then good on you. But my personal advice - don't go there. It's shit.

I'll stop rambling now. Dream large, motherfuckas.